All Episodes
Displaying 61 - 90 of 134 in total
"and so does fishmouth's sadness"
seriously, panos, if you want to tell the story of a sad little cult leader who can only get it up for strange women he meets in the woods, then write THAT story. then...
"and so do continuity errors"
but who cares how the body was hanging? we're just here for the slow-paced violence and the unnecessarily tinted scenery, and nicolas cage grimacing, and then grimacin...
and so does this most exciting minute ever in cinematic history
we didn't need to SEE the capture, or binding, or bagging, but yeah, let's watch the cult members walk to their cars (they have two, now!) in all its slow detail... ex...
and so does this, the new most exciting minute ever in cinematic history
but, hey, at least one thing happens in this minute. one really slow thing. #mandy minute 63
and so does this lame attempt at heartstring pulling
but as far as comedic beats go, picking up your alleged wife's ashen head and trying to act sad is a fantastic choice. #mandy minute 64
and so does this scene from nic cage's latest comedy
maybe give him a shirt that doesn't feel like a child's pajamas, and give him pants like an adult, because tiger shirt+tighty whities=comedy. #mandy minute 65
and so do cheddar goblins
but, i suppose they had to put something in between the comedic crawling in his underwear and the comedic drinking and freaking out in the bathroom, because who cares ...
and so do bad products and bad reactions
why is this commercial, clearly aimed at kids, on in the middle of the night? why are you inserting absurdist gags in the middle of your allegedly deep psychological h...
and so does this bathroom
and i don't mean the bathroom scene, though that does suck, too; i mean this something-orange-vomited-on-everything bathroom and everything in it. #mandy minute 68
and so does this minute for not sucking
i mean, the bathroom is stupid looking, and this scene is inappropriately comedic, but at least they're trying. #mandy minute 69
and so does mr. exposition in his fancy trailer
but why not introduce this new character--who also won't get a name and will disappear after one scene--to tell the audience how wrong we were for thinking something s...
and so does the best line in the film
but, really, #mandy minute 71 is all about how the secret weapon to using a crossbow to hunt is that you bother to have some ammunition for said crossbow. #obvious #st...
and so does trying to get stupid dialogue just right
bill duke ain't expressive, his performance is okay, but the audio, i suppose is why i can't tell half of what he's saying, and i can barely care enough to listen agai...
and so does this unnecessary backstory
i mean, they could have just been demons, then we wouldn't need a brand new (nameless) character introduced more than halfway into the film to give us convoluted expos...
and so does sudden plot device smithing cave
andy is a lumberjack who lives in a cabin in the woods; he's got a regular axe in a stump outside, surely. he lives in the woods and we've seen him eat meat. he's got ...
and so does this smithing session
if you've got a smithing cave with this elaborate a setup, you should probably do better work than lumpy molds for your vengeance axes. but, at least you got it done i...
and so does this boring buildup
i realize now that the title for this episode could refer to almost every minute of this movie, the starling story, the wannabe orgy, the trailer talk, the tunnel walk...
and so does putting a good stunt into the start of a bad killing spree
but, hey, something happened this minute. we should have a party or something. we can have a really blurry cake. #mandy minute 77
and so do animation sequences that linger on nothing
these bits are dreams, right? how boring are your dreams? mine are usually more interesting. i mean, things happen, and everything. #mandy minute 78
and so does this stigmata misuse
revenge is not a tale for a cinematic christ-figure. giving andy a wound in his side, putting a(n almost) crown of thorns on his head, and now putting a nail through h...
and so does christ-figuring our hero
bonus episode looking back at andy as a cinematic christ-figure (using the kozlovic-black scale) after he has been wounded yet again in #mandy minute 79
and so does christ-figuring our villain
but what's good for andy is good for fishmouth. so, let's see how fishmouth measures up on the kozlovic-black scale for cinematic christ-figures before we get to #mand...
and so does christ-figuring the, you know, sacrificial victim of the film
but airquotes ought to be in the running for biggest #christfigure of the film. will she win? will she lose? does it matter? we're just going to get back to the film p...
and so does slowing down when you need to ramp things up
nevermind the bad luck of crashing your truck on your first attempt at vengeance-fueled murder, nevermind the good luck that these drugged-up (nee supernatural) bikers...
and so does effortless escape
blurry shots and otherface walking back and forth--yeah, take your time with that. but, andy getting his hand un-nailed from the floor--you gotta rush the crap out of ...
and so does not knowing where we are or what's going on
we need context. you can't just have andy casually find two dead bodies, when there are no other characters in the film at all. maybe if you had introduced us to the n...
and so do disappearing penisblades
not your normal, everyday problem, to be sure. but consider it like this: villain in S&M getup has a knife. how do we know this? we see it in his hand, we see him bran...
and so does bringing the presumed dead up from the random pit just to hear andy say something stupid
nevermind the poorly shot fight on the floor and on the pieces of the broken coffee table, let's throw the character we just saw die--right? i mean, who can tell these...
and so does this casual drug use
i don't need to complain about how vegas can break a man's neck like an 80s action hero. later he's gonna crush a guy's head with his bare hands so he's obviously supe...
and so do andy's stupid fucking choices
and so do panos' and... whatever the fuck the other writer is called--their choices in writing this, directing this. and my choices in talking about it. and yours for ...